Source: hellogreenapple
Poker Face
P. P. P. Poker Face. P. P. P. Poker Face.
I don’t have one.
I have never had one.
I hope to never have one.
If you want to know how I feel, look at my eyes… they tell you more than my mouth possibly could. Whether this is right, wrong, or indifferent, it’s true.
The twist to this is my ability to be wildly manipulative, however, even in the moments of my life where I have been manipulative, there are ounces of truth that I grasp on to in the midst of those moments.
I have recently stared people in the face, our eyes in an old western showdown and said things like, “you can trust me” and “I will protect you”… and I mean them. It is not an ounce of truth that I am holding on to in order to say these words, they are true words… and the receiver[s] of these words know they’re true because my eyes say so.
If you ever want to know what I am thinking, either ask me, or let my eyes tell you… because they will.
There are few words that are able to describe my life, but if I had to choose a couple they would be: FREE[DOM]. LIBERATION. INTEGRITY.
I am the best version of me there has ever been, but I am not the best version of me there will ever be.
Source: dennisgable.com
Photos from the class I taught this morning. I told my story and then taught through why and how we tell our stories.
Transition.
I am emotionally exhausted. Today is graduation day for the class that preceded my class here at G42. The emotional, spiritual and relational bonds that are created when you spend this amount of time with people, is absolutely incredible! There are three men that will be gone before monday that I have had the privilege to share some painful and beautifully vulnerable moments with, both as the broken and the support. I have given a part of my life to each one and it is very difficult to see them go, however, this type of transition is a wonderful experience for me.
In the midst of transition, I get snapshots of the last 28.5 years and all of the moments of transition that have taken place in my life, both good and bad. In each of these scenes I am reminded of the outcome of the transition and the relationships that have survived transition in my life. I handle this well because I know that if the bonds created were really as strong as they feel, then these relationships are on a level of, “I’ll see you later” versus, “goodbye”. This relational optimism makes me joyful and hopeful for the next moment that we meet with a ‘what it do, bro hug, double tap’ type of embrace! On the other hand, if for some reason the bonds that were built are not as strong as they may seem, then I don’t lose much in the, “goodbye” that will take place in just a few hours, as hard as this option is to think of or admit, it happens.
To the men and women in my life, thank you for pursuing me and allowing me to pursue you. To the men and women who were once in my life, I’m sorry that we’ve parted ways [for now] and I hope you were blessed by our relationship. To the men and women that I will meet throughout my life, I promise to be honest with you about my heart towards you, in hopes to not mislead you about the depth of our friendship/relationship.
Relationships are hard because they demand vulnerability, trust and the willingness to have your heart broken… anything else is just a fling, acquaintance or charismatic meeting of like personalities…
Be willing… it’s worth it… every time.
livelove-dennisalangablejr.
Introspection. Depravity. Balance.
Introspection is a wonderful practice, because it allows you to take the focus off of what you think everyone else is doing wrong and ask yourself those same questions. This week in class I heard this, “one of the ways to flee being judgmental is to make yourself your main project.” For some of us, this can be dangerous if it isn’t guarded with boundary because at times we are self-deprecating enough as it is. There are times in my life when I have really been consumed by this and in retrospect, I am thankful for those times, but in the moment I become pretty selfish. A few years ago I tried to bring balance to this by asking the people around me what their opinions were regarding my life and decisions, another blurry line…
Depravity. I love this word because there is nothing that I can do to counteract my depravity, it just simply exists. So, as I seek the natural falls of my depravity and the places where my heart is just dark, selfish and wicked, I am tempted to be held captive by these and make them my identity. Introspection allows me to identify these dark areas of my heart and expose them to the light, both in terms of the truth of Jesus Christ and also making my struggles public. I can say with good conscious that I am a man who pursues integrity and strong moral and Godly character.
Let the fight begin…
In order to not become completely wrapped in the arms of my faults and darkness, hoping that I am making good, intelligent, Godly decisions with my life, I often turn to my family. My family runs much deeper than genealogy and blood line, while there are members of my natural family in this “other” family, the majority of them are brothers and sisters united by one Father. When I turn to my family, I weigh the light versus the dark and my intentions versus my decisions, mainly to receive advice, correction and approval. If I am being honest, approval is what I seek the most. One of these members of my family often says, “you are just too good with words”, and his statement implies that I am able to twist them in a way that you’ll feel compelled to agree with/support my words. I am guilt of this many times over, which has led me to where I am today.
Balance.
The unfortunate truth is that even your “family” won’t always be honest with you… we [I’m including myself as a family member to someone] often just smile and nod, maybe ask a few “devils advocate” type questions, but typically walk away with words held back in fear of being offensive or hurting someones feelings. And, where there is often truth from the outside looking in, there is even more truth from the inside [if you’re willing to accept it]. What I know is that my family loves me, but I also know that doesn’t always mean they see my heart purely because of past decisions I have made [both good and bad], which effects how they respond to me. So, I’ve decided to trust that God is continually changing me, molding me and making me more like His son, Jesus, which means I am going to trust my ability to make decisions. It would be death for me to not stand by and rely on my family, but I am capable of making good decisions for myself, despite my depravity and introspection.
So, I’m choosing… some of you may agree, some of you may not, I hope you are all supportive, but I can’t live your version of my life anymore.
I love you.
I can’t date you because God…
“I can’t date you because God has called me/gifted me in this and I don’t want distractions…”
I was thinking yesterday about the commitment that relationships take, emotional, energy, time, money, etc… this thought led me to a string of stories, both my own and some friends who are precious to me. The aspects of these stories that ran into the forefront of my mind is this statement, and statements like it.
How many times have you displaced the heart of an individual that you were truly, honestly attracted to and invested in because “God has called me to…” or because, “I need to focus on…. rather than a relationship”??
There are certainly times to take your life into the wilderness and allow some character and integrity changes to take place in order to become a better, more mature version of yourself. Sometimes that takes, diligence and submission to a goal or dream, but most of the time I think it is an excuse to not test and challenge the core of our masculinity or femininity.
Men and women, remember these words: “It is not good for man to be alone.”
There is one example and metaphor that God has given us in order to connect with the type of relationship He longs to have with us and that is of marriage. We are the bride of Christ. Jesus has made a covenantal commitment to us in provision, protection and participation. Glory be to God that the most difficult, vulnerable and time responsible relationship is the one that He gives the greatest example of.
What if the focus of your gifts, emotions, time and resources are meant to be spent within the house first and allow the overflow of those along with the joy and success of your marriage to be what speaks to those who you influence? The church is Jesus’ bride and our spouse is our first church. Women were directly created to be a blessing and a compliment to the life of a man just as man was created to lead and sacrifice for a woman.
Maybe, you should spend an exaggerated amount of time, energy, emotion and resources on a man or woman who you really believe is a wonderful support and compliment to your greatest skills and abilities! This main outcome of this relationship should make you more holy, which in return will make you more happy and more willing to share your heart with the world around you.
It is ok for the woman/man that you are choosing to take up your time, relish in this moment! If you tend to over-spiritualize this process and aren’t sure how to find this special someone, maybe this will help —> Choose a Shoe
-LIVELOVE-
This is OUR Story. A presentation I did at The SOLE Movement 2010
Get Out Of YOUR Way!
You have the potential to be incredible, successful, fulfilled and know that your life has a purpose… but you won’t get the hell out of the way!!
I know so many people who are brilliant, charismatic, fun-loving, compassionate and talented beyond belief, but they are living only a fraction of what is possible.
You, you are a wonderful musician, passionate about being around and sharing life with people, however you are mostly too depressed and insecure to enjoy all that life has to offer.
You, you are beautiful and draw the ear of people in a way that only greatness can explain, but you’ll never know how powerful your voice is because you spend your nights with new bottles and boys and your days recovering from the heartbreak that you’re too ashamed to share.
You, you are one of the most tender hearted men that I have ever met, and you let the pains that have made you a man break you down to boyish pursuits.
These three direct statements, are specific yet general. I have people in mind that I am thinking about, however, I know that you will wonder if I am talking about you when you read this…
There is nothing more true than what the creator says about you, and belief in Him or denial of Him does not change the fact that you were created in His image. He intended for you to have the skills and traits that you have, because He knit together the balance of genes that you were supposed to have. Stop fighting and get out of your way, experience a life more incredible than you can even imagine!
w/ massive amounts of love, DG
I was asked to preach on Sunday night, and here it is… enjoy :)
